Surrender BLOG JUNE 22 2025 LAURAH
Calling out to God and Dad ...saying if they could not do it for me there was nothing I could do .
l dissolved into tears and lowered myself under the water in the bathtub...
I was heavily pregnant ...and crying was second nature it came easily ...I felt so lost... untethered ...crushed and helpless....
I sobbed from the depths of my weary pregnant being ...I had reached the end ...no solution in sight...no one to turn to ...I was consumed in my tears and self pity...
In that same moment I surrendered .
I cried out " There is nothing I can do ....Lord .... Dad.... if you don't help me.... there is nothing I can do" ...in that very moment the phone rang in the sitting room....
My boss answered the phone.
I heard her speak and the next thing she called out to me
" Laurah there is a phone call for you from Botswana ... Come and answer it."....
I stood up from the bath tub...dried myself and put on my pyjamas and made my way to the sitting room....
I had washed my face and dried it ... I hid the fact that I had been crying.....I was numb and picked the phone....
What happened next was surreal.....
the reason I was in despair was I needed money, so I could put down a deposit for a room I wanted to rent ....but I needed the deposit plus the rental ....and I needed it in the next 24 hours or I would lose the room...that window squeezed me...
although I was working
month end was a few weeks away. and my Boss who I lived with had refused to advance me the money....neither would she borrow me the money. and I had no other means of getting the money .
This created my angst, and dilemma, and the pressure built up; as I really wanted a place of my own....and now that I had found it , I lacked the money .
I answered the call and to my astonishment it was a long-time friend, who happened to be in Botswana.
He had called home in Zambia, to be told, I was now working in Zimbabwe.
He got my details and called....as we spoke...he confirmed that he had called my family in Zambia and they directed him to me.
I was just able to mumble yes or no. My mood was low...at which point he asked me what was wrong....
I went silent, and he asked if I was in need of money ....I said yes... how much....I told him the exact amount
He told me he could send it to me but needed bank details, at which point my boss who had been following the conversation offered her bank details....
I gave him her bank details and he told me the money would be wired in the morning as it was night
I thanked him, dazed ... and he then told me he would be flying down after transferring the money to come see me...as I told him he would have to stay in a hotel .my boss was telling me to give him the office address to come to.
All done we said our goodbyes...and I was left to answer the questions of my boss as to who this mystery man was how did I know him and so on....
I was like a robot....I told her he was a long time friend and begged to be excused as I was completely overwhelmed by the turn of events;
Befuddled by this unexpected bolt from the blue, that had come to my rescue ...from a person I had not been in touch with for some years....how odd .....how very very strange!
I went to bed and switched off the light and the sheer relief that I would have the money by tomorrow, had lifted my heavy load, and I drifted off to sleep.
I had what can be termed a lucid dream...
I was standing in a field of grass that had electric colours...like neon lights..
The grass had such an intense energy....the green was alive it was vibrating....
There was a bird with the most amazing electric radiant colours; with a long tail, it looked like it's feathers reflected the rainbow.
The sky around me was so vivid.
All the colours were intense, I had never before seen anything more beautiful..the place was alive with energy.
I took stock of my bearings. I looked around and saw that I was back at the farm, home, where I grew up in Lusaka, Zambia .
My mum and two older sisters Enneles and Sophie and myself were seated outside by the fireside....and as we talked we looked at the road running adjacent to our neighbouring farm; belonging to the Mulikita family.
The road divided our two farms but led to another farm belonging to a South African Farmer, James Cruiys; who lived at the bottom of both our farms.
I pointed out to my sisters that there was someone walking on the road.
On closer inspection it looked like Dad ...I mentioned this to my sisters....
They looked, and said no maybe it was Uncle...my father's younger brother, Uncle Chomba...
I argued and said it was Dad ...they said how could it be Dad he was dead.
Mum who had been quiet intervened and said " it is your father..."
"Yes, he is dead but he comes to check on all of you."..at which point I asked Mun if he was a ghost and she said no he was not.
The next thing I knew my Dad had walked up to us and he looked so handsome ...
Dad was a huge guy 6 foot 4 strong and buillt ..he was burly and muscled.....
He was wearing a sports jacket, that was checkered, black and white ....and an open necked shirt as was his style....
Dad was a classy dresser...think of suits, wide bottomed trousers turned up. .. and the fashion those days from the fifties and sixties ... he always wore a hat ...but not today.
As always his hair was parted on the side and it looked silver grey....he kept a mustache....this was Dad in living colour.
He came up to us and said. " Yes it 's me...I am dead but I come to see you all to check up on you "..and looking at me he said
" especially you !"...
I happen to be my parents last born child...number thirteen to be exact.
As dreams go my sisters and mum faded into the background...
ad approached me and said
" You are the doubting Thomas ...come and touch me" ...he took my hand and had me tap his chest where his shirt was open just below his throat.
I tapped him several times and exclaimed that he was solid and not a ghost....I looked at him and said " if you are dead how come you are solid." ...
Dad said yes he was dead but in his world he is alive and as real as any of us....its just that we cannot see him but he can see us.
We talked and honestly I don't recall about what, but I know this was such a joyous occasion for me.
I had worshipped my Dad, and to be in his presence once more; was more than I could believe or take in.
After some time, dad then told me he had to go ....I asked him where and he said where he had come from....
I told him I would go with him...Dad said i could not go with him where he was going.
I insisted and we went back and forth as I was not going to remain.
Finally he said .." You can come with me, you can escort me halfway; but you cannot come all the way." ..
" Why not " I cried....Dad answered and said
You can't come as it is
not yet your time...so you can only escort me halfway.".
I argued. I told Dad I really wanted to go with him; as I knew this place must be beautiful...
He agreed...." Yes it is beautiful.....very beautiful...but you cannot come now... it is not your time...but you can walk with me halfway".
I agreed reluctantly; and we started off.
I recall that I could see my Dad and I walking through a field of waist high grass ....
The greenest grass that swayed by itself...it was as if I was looking from a distance at the two of us walking as we talked....
It was like my eyesight and vision had remained behind to spectate, with an ability to zoom in at will....
Dreams are marvellous ...you become supernatural!
We were in a very broad valley of this green swaying grass... ..flanked by cliffs on either side.
It was the most serene and beautiful.sight ever...
To this day I play it over and over in my minds eye.
We walked and stopped in the distance...and my sight drew me closer to our two figures.
I was holding on to my Dad's hands.
Dad was explaining very gently to me, as I did not want to let him go, that I should never worry...for he always checks on me....
Even when I don't call for his help he always checks on me
He said all I need to do, If I am in need, is call for him.
He will come; but regardless whether I call, he will come, as he always checks on me .
I reluctantly let him go, and watched as he disappeared into the distance, in this most wondrous of places.
He faded from sight and the next thing I was wide awake in my room .....it was about 1am ......
I sat bolt upright in bed ...My whole body was tingling with sensation.
.
What was going on today ...the electric colours of the field ... that bird. With dazzling colours ..Dad ...the farm ...my mum and sisters who were very much alive still.
That valley felt so real...in fact I had the feeling that this was more than a dream ...it was so vivid it felt like an actual experience....
I could hear the bird singing and see it flapping it's wings in its electric colours...so alive, and, this living energy.
Where had I been....This feeling lasted all of five to ten minutes as I recollected very detail ...
Unlike a dream I remembered every last detail...
Dad's attire etched forever in my mind ....me tapping his chest and being surprised at how flesh and blood he was...
His words to me that he always checks on me and I should never worry, no matter what, he will come.... even when I don't call on him.... as long as I am in need....
That truly was the essence of my dad...Dad loved his family.
I felt reassured, loved ...comforted and a wholesome sense of peace and blessing enveloped me ...
The feeling quickly shifted to fear after about ten minutes .
I had basked in this experience...I recalled every last detail ... because it was an experience that was so strong and present.
I jumped out of bed in fear ....I hurriedly switched on the light...I looked under the bed...opened the wardrobe...opened my bedroom door and looked down the hallway...
Everyone was sound asleep my boss in her room; and so too was her son, he was only five.
That was our total household, just us three.
I could not wake them....to tell them what....this was unreal...
I left my bedroom.door open now, I was scared....what had just happened?
I was in the bathroom and I was overcome by emotion,. felt totally helpless as I had no means to get the money within the deadline of 24 hours ....
in a moment of realiisation I
broke down...and cried out
" God.... Daddy..
if you don't help me there is nothing I can do" ......and wept like a baby....
Then the phone rang
My darkness became light...I went to sleep and I dreamt or rather had an experience in some very real world ... more real than here...
Where I encountered my dad who told me, that no matter he is dead, where he is , he is alive, in living colour, and is ever by my side no matter what !
I was trembling ...my legs were shaking and I was truly scared...I left the light on and bedroom.door wide open snd sat up in my bed....No sleeping .
I stayed awake until 6am when it was getting dawn....I fought sleep each time it came, I was so scared..
.I woke up at 7am ...washed dressed and ate ....acted normal....went to work and sometime in the morning drove to Barclays Bank in Highlands, with my Boss, to collect the money.
Later in the day we went to the airport to receive my friend, actually an ex boyfriend , and saving angel , who arrived late afternoon, on a flight from Botswana.
My Boss would invite him to stay with us....he visited for a week then flew back to Botswana, where he had come to carry out an assignment and returned home to the Netherlands.
So why am I sharing this story?
It happened for real , but for me it's about how events in my life have been spiritual markers...pivotal moments that have given me insight into life's deepest mysteries ...
Made me aware how trust or faith in the moment of surrender, total surrender....crosses a barrier and brings forth miracles.....
Delivers synchronicities in an instant ....where time is of no consequence.
This has been a pattern in my own life. .
At times I have gotten in my own way and forgotten the lesson....but when I remember, I surrender all and let go and miracles happen.
You to can learn to let go and surrender...allow the divine in you to come to your aid....it will.
We are perfect as we are .....we are protected and loved as we are....we need no thing ...
just let go and Let God.
When we simply step out of the way and just surrender....Spirit takes over and the realm.of no time and possibility comes alive and miracles unfold in the instant.
I would later see the valley that my father and I walked through with the swaying grass..in two films
One was a Tibetan film on finding the reincarnation of a deceased Monk.....
It was a documentary that I watched as a dvd...made by an Isreali team.
In it, the young monk...who is charged with finding the reincarnated child; walks through several villages in Nepal, until he discovers the child through the various tests.
In the documentary on one of his travels he stops at a point , as he passes through the valley.
He walked to all the villages...
He stopped and stood in a wide valley with swaying grass and cliffs on either side; where my father and I had walked in my dream.....this was the exact place.
I was stunned .....is that where we
were ?
The second film was Gladiator
When Gladiator or Maximus dies and his soul begins to drift from his body through the fields of wheat...and a woman sings.
Once again I had been in this field with my Father......so does this mean it really exists on the other side?
How can two totally different films, one American, Gladiator; and the other from the Himalaya in Nepal, portray the very place I walked with and stood with my father.....
I am.convinced that this other reality is real; and that we can cross over in certain moments, and experience it , as I did.
Take the gift I offer...of total.surrender to God and miracles will bless you in no time.
Sometimes the simple things are what we find hard to do.
Just let go and Let God.
